Apology & Update

My dearest readers,

Fear not that I have abandoned you. But I do feel I owe you an explanation for my continued absence on this blog.

The short of it is that I have hit a rut, and in that rut found inspiration in a different direction, a direction in which I am now headed but am not yet ready to fully reveal to the blogosphere.

The long of it is this: I began this blog to collect all the lovely artful things I found inspiring across the internet and in my own work, ponderings and discoverings. Maintaining this blog, however, became more and more time-consuming and simultaneously became more and more distant from the direction my art has been taking.

I've always loved producing original art, and this has not changed.

A painting's life can be extended even after it's sold in other forms, such as prints, note cards, gift tags and other paraphernalia bearing that same image. I launched into all this with such enthusiasm that I did not forsee the bog I would slowly sink into, overwhelmed by too much inventory and stretching myself too thin both creatively and financially.

Rather than eliminate all these things I have been searching for a way to scale back significantly and just focus on the truly essential and inspiring aspects of my art. And I believe I have now found that way.

Hence I am reorganizing everything--my Etsy store, my blog, my art schedule and even my attitude towards life. Contrary to popular recommendation I do NOT feel inspired to change by announcing my intentions to the world and then have everyone cheer me on to the finish line. Instead, I prefer to ponder things in my own heart and experiment in earnest on my own, in private, before announcing to the world what my plan is.

So, dear readers, there you have it. I will be launching my "new self" in the epic year of 2012. Meanwhile, I have applied to graphic/web design school to finish my undergrad and am furiously and excitedly experimenting with my new artistic direction.

I love you all. Stay tuned.

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Brain power is over-rated, or at least, not everything it's cracked up to be

"Many kids don’t have the opportunity to make things.
The solution: We give it to them."

I totally agree with that sentiment from Dudecraft's (aka Paul Overton) recent article "Hands On" (published on Make & Meaning).

It's a sad truth that as school budgets are being slashed, so are many hands-on classes. Everything now is textbook and tests.

Many kids learn best when they can DO. ALL kids learn best when they can apply the "book stuff" they learn to the real world. So why are we taking the "real world" out of school? Isn't the whole purpose of school to train kids for the real world?

For a while I have thought about teaching art, but had no idea to whom or through what venue, exactly. This thought simmered on the back burner of my mind for a while, now it's back on the front. I just really don't know where to start...

UPDATE: Paul wrote a follow-up to his post here.

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Time, why don't they sell THAT on Etsy?!

Time.

It used to be my best ally, now I feel like it's my enemy. I never have enough of it, and it drags on and speeds up whenever most inconvenient. My life-long strategy of deciding what would be the ideal amount of time to spend on something each day and then plunging right into said schedule does not serve me now--I'm officially an adult, with a 9-5 job and a husband/house in the evenings and weekends.

Not that I am complaining about Caleb's presence in my life. In fact, I choose to spend every spare moment with him because, well, I WANT to. But it used to be just me, my job, my cat and my hobbies, and now I'm trying to maintain that while also being married. And having a social life.

My new years resolutions have already fallen apart. And I think that means that I just need to rethink mostly everything. Not EVERYTHING everything, but close to it. Why do I spend my days at work filing another person's papers, and my evenings filing my own? Where's the joy, the pizazz, the energy of life in all that?

I know that since the bipolar finally crippled me to the point on non-functionality a few years ago that my life-living methods have had and still need a major overhaul. I am stable now, but drastically changed, somewhat for worse but mostly for the better.

Gone are the days I could cram full of "me-stuff." Gone are the days of working, working, working until I fell into bed at night. Gone are the days of giddy excitement or stomach-curdling disappointment at every small event.

I want to take all that was good about the old and toss everything else. I used to run myself into the ground with both quality AND quantity, fueled by the adrenaline and drive of a relentless need to pursue perfection in everything. I could feel opposite emotions at once, and choose which to show and in what way.

But I don't want that now. I want a little of only the best things, to enjoy rather than to be giddy or happy or "driven," to be able to relax instead of being wound so tight I had to either be full-steam-ahead or unconscious.

As you know, Caleb and I recently started up an online store selling my artwork and various derivatives of select pieces. And yet again, I approached it with the "full-steam-ahead or unconscious" mentality. And I've found myself more than once regretting opening the store, and then being surprised speechless at that regret. Regret opening the store? But that's been my lifelong dream since I was like ... five. Which tells me that the fault is with my methods, not my goals. Talk about a MAJOR wake-up call.

Slowly. Quality. Enjoyment. These are my new mantras. Help keep me accountable, will ya?

Peace,
Emily

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Fear is Art's Greatest Enemy: A letter to myself and others

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another
with no loss of enthusiasm.
~Winston Churchill
Dear me (yes, oh dear me),

Two weekends ago you were wonderfully productive. High on your success, you sat down last weekend to complete another tiny pond painting and a larger landscape. But the beginnings of neither turned out how you envisioned. The values were all muted, the water didn't reflect, the trees looked like mud and the rocks like weird jewels, and you were crestfallen. You've not touched your paints since.

Fear has always been your greatest and often only roadblock on your creative path. Fear of failure, fear of ugliness, fear of being laughed at, fear of having to try again. Yet when you sit back and muse on this, you often end up laughing at yourself. So you messed up a 1.5"x1.5" piece of paper? Try again, silly! And your time was not wasted, you learned something--you learned what doesn't work. After all, when Thomas Edison was trying to figure out what to put in his lightbulb to make it glow, he tried over a thousand substances before he figured it out. He didn't give up, because with every failure he merely noted that he'd learned something--what doesn't work. It was just another step on the path to discovery.

Every day just try a little, push a little, paint a little, and you will gain a little. On the other hand, you could try much, push much, paint much, and you will gain much. But either way, always try, always push, always paint. Every day. At least a little.

Remind yourself of this: Failure is not truly failure, for if you are indeed humble enough to learn from your mistakes, then you merely did a lot of learning last weekend.

So cheer up, bucko,
and get your butt back to your painting chair. :)

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